People, and their funny, human ways

Hey. Dummy. When you're on the bus? Yeah. Don't stand directly in front of the doors. I realize that leaning on the poles is really enjoyable or... something, but then when people want to get off, well, they can't because you're stupid and you're in the way. So don't stand there. How, in your twenties or thirties, this concept baffles you is worrisome.
Also, just a random note: if you say you care about someone, show them. See, I could conceivably tell you that you are the love of my life and that I would die for you. But it's when I actually step in front of the speeding car to jerk you out of the way that you will be able to differentiate between lip service and action.
I care about you. A lot. And I would swim across oceans for you. And you as well: you really float my boat! As for you? Eh, not so much. You're kind of a huge asshole.