Turning the other cheek

I’m not sure if I’ve mentioned this, but our latest book club selection is “The Year of Living Biblically” by A. J. Jacobs. As I am at minimum agnostic, and one some days downright atheist, it has been interesting how this book has tweaked my interest in the bible, and how it has influenced me subtly as I go about my day to day activities (which focus heavily on pride, lust and coveting).
Case in point: on the bus today I noticed a guy sitting smack in the middle of a seat designed for two. It was rush hour, and anyone that takes this bus on a regular basis knows that it rapidly becomes standing room only. And, because I am a bit of an oddity and remember certain people that I’ve only seen once because I create elaborate back stories for them to pass the time instead of struggling through Sudoku puzzle #23, I did recognize this guy.
I had seen him a few weeks earlier. He’s probably in his early fifties and I took note of his out to date suit and his old school briefcase which he kept rummaging through nervously – or so it appeared to me. He kept checking and re-checking some paperwork and I decided that he was a long term employee of some firm that had recently gone through a bout of downsizing, and now here he was, having to go out and interview for jobs that he had done twenty years ago and pander to bosses young enough to be his son or daughter. I felt bad for him: ageism is rampant in the hiring process. Seriously: tack twenty years onto your age and tell me if you think you could apply for – and get – the job you have now, your education remaining what it currently is. Yeah, little scary. So I watched this guy and I silently wished him good luck in his job hunting or at the interview that (in my mind) he was no doubt heading to.
And now here was the same guy taking up two seats! At this point people were coming onto the bus and because as Canadians we are all ridiculously polite, no one has the balls to say, “Excuse me”, though they did shoot a couple of furtive pleas in his direction. At this point he shifts over, so now he’s only taking up 5/8ths of the seat. But after about a minute he spreads one of those (goddamn) daily newspapers over the newly vacated space beside him. I’m sitting there just utterly enraptured by his behavior. He knows people are standing, because they’re standing within arm’s reach of him. I know he knows.
So then I thought what would Jesus do? Should I lean over and say something biting and sarcastic (which I often do)? I contemplated it, and ultimately wimped out (another thing I often do). Should I mention something to him in passing once we were off the bus? No, that would be beside the point. I suppose the point was to turn the other cheek like you do when the guy next to you opts to do that snorting thing instead of blowing his nose like a regular person, and does it every 45 seconds and seems to think this is a socially acceptable method of dealing with phlegm.
I then looked at it from a broader vantage point: was I supposed to be learning something from this? I decided that I was thankful that the (hot) guy beside me hadn’t hindered me from sitting next to him. I thought maybe this is just a reminder that not everyone is kind and considerate, and it takes jerks like this to help you appreciate the little kindnesses that you receive from others as you stumble through your day. The thing that was the stumbling block for me though, was that a person like this could be so blatantly rude and ignorant. In rush hour traffic on public transit you really have to work and keeping people from sitting in the vacant seat next to you.
But then really? I shouldn’t be surprised. I was on the #16 once and a woman with son (who was probably 8 or so) were sitting in the area reserved for the elderly and the handicapped and when asked to move for a legitimately old person, she refused. I am not kidding. This woman actually got into an argument with three or four other people that were just totally appalled by her behavior.
Another time a woman got on the bus even though the driver said it was full and he couldn’t have her situated where she was. She refused to get off. She delayed our bus for so long that it really would have behooved her to get off, because at that point the next one would be along in about five minutes. People, regular people, on the bus were screaming at her to get off. The bus driver actually got up out of his seat and was one step away from physically throwing her off.
I don’t know. Michael sometimes says to me, “Why does this surprise you?”. I’m not sure. I suppose it’s vanity in thinking that everyone is as considerate as me, but that very statement is vain in and of itself, because while I may be considerate in the phlegm and public transportation departments, I’m sure there are things that I do that drive other people nuts.
The moral of this story is: cozy up to the person next to you on the bus, and bring a Kleenex.
Amen.