"What I want to say is this: - If you logically try to persuade a person that there is no absolute reason for shedding tears, the person in question will cease weeping. That's self evident. Why, I should like to know, should such a person continue doing so?"

"If such were the usual course of things, life would be a very easy matter," replied Raskolnikoff.

- Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky

Tuesday, June 17, 2008

Fourth one's a charm

I loved "The Science of Sleep". It was one of the most original and touchingly funny and human movies that I've seen in a long time. It made up for the spate of shit that I've had to wade through over the last week.
Michael never called. So... that's good. Always nice to know that you're being thought of. Day 1 of the vacation I can see no phone call. You're happy to be home, you don't get around to it, whatever. Day 2 you would think - no, that's stupid. I would think. I would feel. I would want.
I am stupid and deluded.
I hate this. I fucking loathe this and all the stupid shit that surrounds it and that I'm sitting here thinking any of these ridiculous, useless thoughts.
I am going to be single until I die, but I will have a never ending string of lovers that will fall hopelessly in love with me and I will break their hearts one by one and laugh at them and thrust their roses into the trash and leave their chocolates to melt in the sun and make fun of their thoughtful and original Valentine's Day cards.
And yes, I realize that I am a spiteful, petulant bitch.

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