"What I want to say is this: - If you logically try to persuade a person that there is no absolute reason for shedding tears, the person in question will cease weeping. That's self evident. Why, I should like to know, should such a person continue doing so?"

"If such were the usual course of things, life would be a very easy matter," replied Raskolnikoff.

- Crime and Punishment, Dostoevsky

Friday, September 28, 2007

People like me

I'm not sure why, but they do.
Had a pissy day. Feeling dejected over the latest condo debacle. I'm really tired and haven't had the opportunity to sleep in since I don't remember when. I'm rather unmotivated at work. And yet people seemed to be destined to make my life that much brighter today. It's like I had been storing some good karma for a rainy day or something.
I went shopping with a couple of coworkers at lunch. Another one of my coworkers gave me a cookie. I love those! Then I launched into another engrossing conversation with a fellow member of the environmental committee and we shared all sorts of great and uplifting ideas. I actually walked away from the conversation feeling "charged". A guy checked me out at Pac Centre (I must say I was looking rather bohemian/european with my wrap and my leather satchel). Then I had a lengthy conversation with the CFO and he freaked me out by showing me videos of his son on Facebook. I was like, "You're on Facebook?". I mean, it's great and the videos were really funny, but somehow I never thought I would be peering over the CFO's shoulder and looking at his Facebook profile. Actually, one of them was so funny I said he should send it in to America's Funniest Videos or something, though we both agreed that it kind of bordered on cruelty to children. Which, you know, is always good for a laugh. Saw this old couple on the bus (I mean older than dirt) and they were so sweet. It took them forever to disembark, but the driver was very patient and they thanked him at least twice. And then, when they made it to the sidewalk and the bus driver was closing the doors they actually waved at him. I thought I might cry. But instead I went to Rogers to get some flicks. Where I bumped into L, who I haven't seen in ages. So she and I chatted for fifteen minutes: it's her birthday tomorrow! Then I went to the liquor store because, well, I like liquor. I walked in and there was a guy giving away samples of something and he's like, "Hey. Movie night?" and I was like, "Gee, thanks for pointing out the fact that I'm alone, I have three DVDs tucked under my arm and I'm intent to get soused by myself on a Friday night because I have recurring dreams of cats eating my face and the alcohol helps me fall into a fitful sleep until, at three am, I wake up screaming in a bed soaked with sweat". Okay, I didn't say that. I said, "Yeah," cause I'm a consummate conversationalist. Then he asked me what I got! I was thinking, um, don't you have hard booze to flog? But no, we end up launching into a three or four minute conversation about Quentin Tarantino. It was weird. As I was leaving I waved at him and said, "See ya,". When am I going to see him again? Likely never. Human interaction is fun. People are nice.
So I watched "Confetti" which, of course, no one has ever heard of. It was good. It was a British mockumentary about three couples competing to have the most original wedding in order to win a house. It had the main character from the BBC office who I quite adore. I guess it was a bit old hat for me since I've seen "Best in Show", "Waiting for Guffman", etc, etc (I even saw "A Mighty Wind" when they came to the Queen E: effing hilarious). But it was still funny, poignant and entertaining. Weddings. Such a weird and surreal occasion. Like Vegas. It's a non-reality. Maybe that's why people get married when they're in Vegas.
I still want to get married. It's corny, I know. But I also understand that it doesn't really signify anything. It's in the details. It's in the phone calls. It's waiting for you at the airport. The jokes that only the two of you get. It's never having to worry about getting Christmas present that screams "I really don't know who you are, and I thought you might really enjoy this Hard Rock Cafe t-shirt". It's not getting flowers on Valentine's Day, because that's trite, but rather getting them on your last day on the job that had slowly been driving you insane. It's the feeling that you get from someone who is your biggest advocate and supporter, whether it's running an unimpressive 52 minute 10k, or graduating from college. I'm just throwing out random items that might conceivably be possible occurrences in the lives of others of course.
I wax poetic.
There is a large, ominous bug in my living room.
It was likely attracted by my numerous couches.

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