The whole horseshoe up my ass thing

I'm a lucky person. I'm sure I've made that claim to you. Good things happen to me. Bad things happen too, but the good things are sometimes really, really good. Here is a good example:
Went to the clinic tonight. Because it was dark and raining and windy I put a flashing light on my hat, and I also attached one to the zipper of the pocket on my waterproof jacket (the pocket in which I had my apartment keys). As usual I overdressed and was sweltering within minutes, so I took off my jacket and tied it around my waist. We did a tempo run, which is supposed to be slower than your five or ten kilometre race pace, but maybe a bit faster than your marathon pace. Michael said to me, "Do you like the light on the back of my hat? Because that's what you're going to be looking at for the next fifteen minutes". So all of a sudden my tempo pace became "track down that smack talkin' man even if you have to come close to throwing up while doing it" (the plus side is that I still feel sick and I don't think I'll have to cook dinner). Not surprisingly Michael beat me, but not by much.
Jogged back to the store and did our cool down, went to zip open my pocket to pull out my one and only set of apartment keys and... my pocket was open. Because I'm a few cards short of a full deck I didn't fully comprehend that, while jogging for half an hour, the light affixed to my pocket zipper would pull the zipper open. If, at any point during the run, my keys had fallen out I never would have been able to find them. And I would be totally shit outta luck. But, because the horseshoe is so firmly wedged up my ass, they were still sitting in my open pocket waiting for me.
So I set of an inordinate amount of metal detectors: totally worth it!