Karma, my ass

I’ve got good karma. In fact, I think I have more good karma than most. I used to be a lot crankier and angrier and I complained about a myriad of things but then, for the most part, I managed to get my head out of my ass. As I’ve mentioned numerous times on my blog: I am really happy with my life. I have no major complaints. I have more than most people could ever hope for vis a vis my loving (though slightly neurotic) family, my brilliant friends, my health, a good job, a great apartment and… lots of couches. My life is rich with couches. Why should I be blessed with so many, when others have so few? The next time a homeless person asks me for a cigarette I shall give him a couch.
Right. Back to the karma thing. How does it work? Can you expedite it? If I go out and engage in a series of selfless acts over the weekend how long will it take for something great to happen to me? And what is the barter system? Say I compliment a friend on a shirt that I find ugly, but it makes her happy: what is that worth from a karmic perspective? And if I donate a pint of blood? That’s got to be worth a meal at Bin 942 or a massage. I’m giving up my Saturday night to attend my step-grandfather’s 90th birthday, so that’s worth a sunny Sunday afternoon at Granville Island, isn’t it? Okay, okay, I get it. That’s not how karma works. It’s not a selfless act if you expect to be rewarded for it. My reward is that my nana and her husband will be happy that I attended and their happiness makes me happy. Let’s all have a group hug now.
I suppose it’s just human nature to want it all. And immediately. There’s a Buddhist saying about that, something like ‘the desire for things makes us unhappy’. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbour’s ass. I guess I should just be happy with my own ass.
I totally didn’t get enough sleep last night.