Scrunts

I just watched "The Lady in the Water" and am convinced that scrunts are lurking in the corners. You know, the movie would've been a lot shorter if the hero had just sprayed the scrunts with Round-Up: he wins; Monsanto wins; the environment loses; I get to go to bed earlier.
Here is a blog that I have come across (please be advised that I am at the minimum agnostic). I will let you peruse it and come to your own conclusions: www.mysticsaint.blogspot.com. I read a couple of entries and felt very compelled to shed my wicked ways and hop on the path to enlightenment, but I'm not ready for that kind of commitment as of yet. I am not quite ready to let go of my ego, my narcissistic tendencies, or recognize the level of my greed and thoughtlessness. Nope, my head is still quite firmly lodged up my own ass, though understanding that this is so means that my current lifestyle is essentially living on borrowed time. But what will become of the debauchery? The materialism? The self-gratification and self-congratulation? Do I have to quit drinking? Are trans fats out? Must I do more sit ups? Should I attempt to sit still more often instead of blocking out every lucid thought by immersing myself in books, music, the company of others, physical exhaustion, work and drugs? Do I have to curb my temper, wants and sarcasm?
It's on my to do list, this whole self-betterment thing. Right after: killing scrunts; sleeping a lot; repairing the chips in my granite counter tops; and returning some doormats to Home Depot.
Did you see that!? Just now, in the corner!
I'm so having nightmares tonight.