Go into the light

Coming back from coffee with my coworkers we heard a loud bang on the 7th floor. One of them said, "We're all going to die!" to which I replied, "Don't say that!". It was then proposed that I had an elevator related phobia. That was incorrect, my phobia was actually related to my coworkers. Ha! Just kidding. Death is a serious matter. It can really have an impact on your social calendar and can make day to day life quite difficult. I was encouraged to "go towards the light" but responded that, during most of my near death experiences (it doesn't take much with me: a missed bus; a tepid cup of coffee; a lost toenail), it wasn't a brilliant white light that I saw. It was more red and fiery, and there was a guy with a pitchfork.
I'm just kidding. I'm totally going to end up in purgatory. I'm good, but I could be better. I'm bad, but I haven't killed anyone. Or if reincarnation is the game, I'll likely come back as a Chinchilla. They're cute, but rather useless and are their novelty wears off after a while. So, you know, if you end up in purgatory and you see a Chinchilla there: say hi!