66% of you are missing your pants

And I thought I was the only one. It is a rare day that I will come home and pour a glass of wine before even taking my boots off. Today is that day. Today I had to accept my mother's offer to cash in her GICs to fund the amount of my mortgage because my mortgage broker is a colossal fuck up. Yes. I'm using the f-word today. I used it at work a couple of times. Also a rarity. Yes, between dropping the f-bomb and spending inordinate amounts of time in the spare office at work gesticulating wildly and endlessly repeating "I don't know what to do. What am I supposed to do?" I really accomplished a lot. Yeah. Good thing I have a really understanding boss.
I think this blog is more for me, because I need to unload. So please, enjoy my drivelling rant as I try to pull together the scattered fragments of my disturbed mind. I don't know whether I'm coming or going. I was supposed to go visit Michael tonight (yes: to drop off more boxes!), but I think I am too flummoxed. And of course I feel awful because he was expecting me and I shall not show. I need to allow the movers to move the remaining boxes. I need to have faith that they can do it. My faith in peoples' ability to do things has been soundly shaken. I need to pack more. I need to take apart my bed. I have to wash the windows. I need the searing pain in my stomach to stop. I need to repay my mom as soon as possible, and add in a little "pain and suffering" bonus. I need to write a letter full of scathing hatred and burning vitriol to my broker once this debacle is behind me. And cc her boss.
I understand. I was greedy. I wanted too much. I wanted to believe the mortgage broker last night when she said that my notary would have the docs first thing this morning.
I'm trying to articulate something, but I don't know what. My nerves are frayed and I'm as taut as a wire. And I'm mad and embarrassed and tired and dejected and alone again. I should be happy. Everything will be fine tomorrow. I'll sign the last papers, all the money will be coming in from various places. I'll be ensconced in my new pad on Friday. There's a lesson in all of this. Whenever shit happens, you are being taught a lesson. Today's lesson: there's no such thing as a free ride, and be sure to always know where your pants are.